Rachel Jenae

It May Seem Reckless

She dances. Like grains of wheat blowing in the field, she’s free.  Nothing hindering. Just the wind catching her hair and flowing skirt to make them both twirl effortlessly.

She tilts her head up to the sky, eyes closed, arms outstretched. Rain drops begin to fall.  She doesn’t care.  She smiles. Caught up in a moment, where the present is all that matters.  The here, the now, nothing else.

Her twirling turns into dancing.  Swaying to-and-frow to the sound of the melody playing in her ear.  Her smile grows.  It’s on the verge of laughter coupled with giggles.  She breaks into a run.  Running nowhere in particular, simply releasing what her heart feels.  From the laughter emerges a sound.  No words, just sound echoing her heart. Release.

Can you see her yet?  Who is she? Embracing today and this present moment with no fears. She lets go of anything hindering and embraces the freedom of living in the present and thinking of nothing else.  She embraces her strengths and weaknesses today and counts them as nothing.  She relishes in grace that makes her strong and hope that gives her courage.  Here she thrives.  Here she shines.  She is who I long to be.  Not rushing forward, not looking back, but thriving and shining in the present.  She is Joy.  She is Reckless Abandon that makes little sense to this world.

I was around 10 when I remember putting on my walkman and headphones to walk across the street to a neighbor’s field. It’s where I could get just out of view of any passerby and turn up my music and simply run and dance. Sometimes singing at the top of my lungs, but mainly dancing. I don’t know how often I did it, but I remember loving it.  I remember feeling exactly what I described above; free, unhindered, that the world could disappear and I could dream of how the world was meant to be.

At one point the old lady who owned the field told my parents she didn’t want me over there anymore.  She was afraid I might get hurt or their might be snakes in the field.  What I was doing was probably silly in her eyes.  It was reckless and un-cautious, much like a million other things kids do.  But it was my place of freedom.  My place of abandon.  The place where my heart soared.  It is the place that is always trying to be stolen.  It rarely makes sense to anyone looking from the outside, but it’s needed.  As reckless as it may seem, it’s essential.

I didn’t have a chance to do a shoot and story for this week’s Tuesday post, but instead this is part of my story. Remembering to recklessly abandon every day. It may look crazy to the world, but it is essential and only I know what it looks like for my life and only you for yours.  God always pinpoints it and gives us the choice to embrace it.  It’s in the embracing of the abandon that we thrive the most.  Embracing all that we are, the too much and too little and letting go of all our fears and whatever is holding us back from being that person today. Recklessly abandon.

I also want to highlight the tutu in last week’s shoot once again (shown below). The young woman who designed and sewed the entire project is incredibly talented and all proceeds from the silent auction will go to her and her growing skills and talents! The tutu can be worn as a skirt or dress and is a size 4-6. Yellow belt not included. Please email your bids to hello@racheljenae.com.