Rachel Jenae

We are in a War

I’m not sure if it’s because we live in America or we’ve always been taken care of with ease from our middle class upbringing, but somewhere in the middle of it all we have forgotten a lot of really simple, but profound truths about the world we live in.

Amidst a heart wrenching conversation and news that my 80 year old grandmother had been in a severe car accident yesterday something in me went into defense mode. I tightened my shoulders, raised my head, and began pacing my kitchen. “Not my family. No way, no how!” Thoughts raced through my head of why all this was happening. Why now? Why them? Then something in my heart rose up and in a split second I was speaking in a different tone. More authoritative. More demonstrative. More confident and more precise. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body with explosive power as if to run a marathon. “This was my family and no one was going to harm my family and get away with it.” In that split second I had switched to offense. What the enemy was saying was loud and clear and it was all a lie.

Back tracking just a little, it was the spring of 2009 and I had just returned from an incredible 10 day trip overseas to the island of Cyprus. I’d surprised my younger brother with my arrival and for 10 whole days had the up-close delight of seeing firsthand a guy who had been forever changed by God’s saving grace. I’d also encountered my own new freedom. Anxiety had hit me upon arriving to the island, a faint reminder of torturous days not so long ago, and thanks to incredible friends and leaders I was guided into new revelation of exactly my position on the matter. Revelation that shifted everything. It was in my returning that I realized exactly how vital that new revelation must be, because all hell broke loose in a matter of days.

I was hit with a sudden kidney infection and wreaking the havoc of the doctor’s mega-dose of antibiotics I was a wreck. Physically my body was probably much better than I imagined, but my mind was on a downward spiral to utter despair. Nights were the worst, especially if I was alone. I’d imagine how worse my body was getting by the minute and within an hour of torturous thoughts I’d be shaking from the thought of my own demise. One night I had finally had enough and amidst being at the lowest point I’d ever felt I called a mentor friend. I cried as I told her how I was feeling and begged (probably pleaded) with her to pray it all away. But what she told me next changed my life. It shifted this very American mind of mine to wake up.

Ok, I can pray for you Jenae, but you know what you need to do.” Which of course I didn’t. I had completely forgotten everything except for my own despair.

Can you remind me, cause I don’t remember?” I asked through broken tears.

And then it came…truth.

You need to get up. You need to walk around and you need to start taking all of those lies captive. And every time you hear a lie, you say out loud ‘No, Satan that’s a lie and the truth is…’ and fill in the blank with God’s truth. And you do that until the lies stop. You may have to do it for an hour or you may have to do it all night. I can pray for you Jenae, but I can’t do it for you.

I think at that point I responded with some despondent answer of how I had a 103 fever and my body and head ached, but she took none of my excuses and told me again, “It’s simply what YOU have to do. This is war.

Flash forward to my phone conversation yesterday and this conversation from three years earlier came reeling back through my mind in a flash. The struggle. The fierce fight for custody of my own mind. The outright war. The realization that no one else could fight for me, because no one actually had authority over my mind but me. I would not win easily or passively. I would only win by choosing to stand, to be the warrior God declared I am and claim Truth. I would only win by choosing it again and again and again and again. By putting on my armor (Ephesians 6) and not just taking the defense, but taking the offense too and declaring truth that established reality. Through moments just like that my tenacity increased, endurance increased and faith increased. Those moments led me into that conversation yesterday with a confident assurance… a blessed assurance…Truth is mine.

Most of us get to one door of our destinies and are just waiting for it to be opened for us and someone to be welcoming us in. And to our surprise when that door starts resisting us and out from behind it steps a small entourage of masked assassins, we start back-peddling. Our minds start spiraling. “What have I done wrong?” “God why are you not for me?” “Maybe this isn’t the right door.” Fear. Panic. Confusion, and the list goes on and on. Somewhere in the middle of living this life we forgot we are actually in a war for life itself. True life. Life as it was meant to be lived. The reality of God’s Kingdom on Earth. Those assassins shouldn’t make us falter, but rather they should reassure us. Reassure us that we are making destiny altering decisions and headed in the right direction and we have stepped on the toes of the enemy who thought he owned this territory.

Somewhere in the middle, the middle of our routines, the middle of our struggles, the middle of our messed up lives, and in the middle of our American “life should be easy” thinking,¬†we often forget the Truth. The truth staring us in the face.

We are in a war.