Rachel Jenae

Seasonal Transitions

Grateful.

Sometimes feelings have a hard time summing up gratefulness.  They are limited to understanding and more than that, they are limited to expression that often doesn’t fully express it anyways. 

Today is my last day at the job where I have worked for the last 2 1/2 years.  When I took this job I had been in a nine month season of crazy!  I had been working three part time jobs (a flower shop, personal assistant to two individuals and 2nd shooting weddings with a couple), roaming free as a bird, plunging into photography and loving life. I was living fully out of my heart in a completely new way!  Not doing what I felt I needed to do, but what I felt made to do.  It was also one of the most “walk by faith” kind of seasons I’ve ever been in, going from pay check to pay check and not knowing if there would be enough to pay the bills.  I came to know God in a way I never had before and I remember writing in my journal what a sweet season of life it was in the midst of lack and at the same time knowing it would not last forever.  Part of me cried that day, knowing it would soon be over and I would have plenty and the plenty would show me a knew perspective of God, but also try to steal the sweetness of simply walking by faith and relying on Him.

I tend to be quite sentimental and nostaligic most of the time and ends and beginnings always hold dear places in my heart.  I think they’re important.  How you end one season will determine how you walk into the next. How you learn in one season will determine if you need to repeat it again.  How you embrace one season will determine if you allow the change needed to prepare you for the next.  Each season is significant.

As I get ready to close one chapter of learning and step into another I can’t help but think about all that I’ve learned the last 2 1/2 years.  I’ve never seen time fly by so fast. I’ve never sat still so long.  I’ve never seen so much resistance in myself to the obvious favorable will of God.  I’ve never seen my flesh rise up so regularly as I did here.  I’ve never seen more (completely unspiritual, but completely practical) growth occur in my life from obeying every day in the little things.  I’ve never been more certain about what God made me to do than after obeying and sitting for the last 2 1/2 years. 

I knew without a doubt God told me to take this job and I now know without a doubt it is time to move on.  Three months after taking this job the U.S. economy crashed and my photography equipment was stolen.  I would have, more than likely, been completely without work and struggeling worse than I had before.  I, instead, was prospering more than ever before in the midst of the worst economic crisis of our lifetime.  I don’t think I realized how grateful I should have been and how much God was orchestrating my every step until late into my first year, because I didn’t fully understand the extent of what was happening in our economy.  But I am certain, beyond any of my understanding, or even deserving it, that God positioned me here for this time. I learned much, I failed much, I grew much and hopefully I imparted much.  It’s now time for something new!

So here’s to transitions and growth and new seasons in 2011!