Rachel Jenae

Caterpillar Thoughts, Perspective & Soul Searching

My mind feels a bit like mush this morning as I try to process why my heart feels mushy too.  And what I mean by mushy is that I feel sappy.  Like hearing about anything sad could push me over the edge and into endless waterfalls of tears.  I’d love to just curl up on my couch, put in a good chickflick, drink some hot cocoa and not think.  If only I were good at that. 

It’s always so funny when you start hearing points repeated in your life, like God is saying “Get this” so loud that there’s no way you could miss it.  Well you could and actually I think many people do, because they choose to not want to dig in their own heart.  It’s hard work to come face to face with yourself in the mirror and answer the hard questions of life.  It takes determination to not stop short of the truth.  It takes courage to realize and admit that maybe you were wrong and your priorities were out of wack.  And I’m not talking about admitting it to anyone else, but simply admitting it truthfully to yourself. It’s not something you can afford not to do. 

Yesterday I pulled out one of the many books that are next to my bed that I’ve been slowly making my way through.  I flipped to the dog-eared page and started in where I’d left off.  The author was discussing the possibilities of what caterpillars must think about on a daily basis.  Probably not  much, he admitted, but what did these small little creatures think when they woke up from a long nap and found they now had beautiful wings?  They’d spent the whole of their existence inching along with their chubby little bodies and awoke to the fact that they now could fly!  What would that be like?  How do you even begin to comprehend what you can do now, since you have known nothing of it your entire life?  What do you do when you learn you have wings? 

That was enough.  I read those few paragraphs and closed the book. 

I then headed over to the young adults group at my church having no idea what awaited me there.  After worship concluded the pastor got up to speak and he started by reminding us about the series we were in on The Benefits of Rest. Tonight he would be speaking about perspective.  One small word with such a huge effect on life.   It effects your performance.  It effects your attitude.  It changes everything.  Your perspective of your past will determine if you can step into your future.  Your perspective of what has happened in your life (what you’ve done or was done to you) will determine if you can see how God will use it ALL for you good. 

And then this morning… I received this from Ransomed Heart Ministries with John Eldredge:

Things Are Not What They Seem

…Your evaluation of your soul, which is drawn from a world filled with people still terribly confused about the nature of their souls, is probably wrong. As C. S. Lewis wrote in The Weight of Glory.

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. . . . There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Last weekend I attended a one day event in Houston called Making Things Happen, for what I thought was going to be a very practical how-to build your business event.  I walked away from the 11 hour no-break day with the words pounding in  my head, “Just Do It” and “Let go of the Past”.  So much of what makes us who we are is out of our past.  The good and the bad.  But our limited perspective and expectations on what we think life should look like only serve as a box to keep us from letting go and stepping into our God-given future. 

We tend to grow so accustomed to inching along through life exactly as we’ve always been that it often takes a jolt from reality to decide to make some big changes and see the wings you’ve been given to fly.  Using your wings will change a lot of things.  It will mean you can’t stay where you’ve been.  It will mean changing the way you see yourself.  It will mean leaving some old friends behind.  It will mean soaring to new heights. It will change your view on everything!  It will give you freedom you never knew was your portion.  BUT… it will be a choice.  It will be your choice. You don’t have to use them.