Rachel Jenae

I know you’ve missed my feet

Years ago I started taking photos of my feet anytime I’d travel to other places in the world. These photos marked territory taken but so much more. They reminded me that the Gospel of peace could go anywhere and “blessed are the feet of those who bring good news.” For a girl from a tiny town in Arkansas with a population of 200 (yep, you read that right), and who dealt with a lot of anxiety growing up, traveling and missions was never on my radar or worldview. It wasn’t until I was a couple years into college that something ignited in my heart for the nations. It wasn’t long after that I went on my first trip. A couple years after that I jumped on a trip across the globe to the small country of Papa New Guinea. I had more fears than faith, but I went anyways. That trip ripped my heart wide open. But that trip almost killed me as well.
I returned home with the lovely mosquito-bearing virus of malaria. After being misdiagnosed for over a week, 105 fevers, ice baths and a swollen stomach, I was admitted to the hospital losing about half my blood.

3 days in the hospital and I was sent home with the virus defeated. It was months before I’d get my energy back, but those days of being sick, in the hospital and days to follow were days of deep wrestling in my faith. Would I ever get better? Would it come back? But God. I’ve seen what He can do. I’ve seen His restoration time and time again. Reminding me that He’s given me shoes of peace.

Tears rush my eyes and an ache of deep gratefulness burns in my heart as I recall those days. They were long and hard days and the recovery took months, but there was something that happened in those wrestling days that I would not trade. A side of God I had no idea I would need to know and recall again and again in years to come.

In some ways he’s still using that season in my present. He’s still reminding me of how near He is. It’s not physical shoes I can see guarding where I step, but peace that surpasses all understanding. That peace is what carries me courageously into new seasons of unknown and makes them exciting adventures. How are your feet today?