Rachel Jenae

He’s After One Thing

Several years ago I went through a couple months where all I felt like all God did was ask me questions. “Why” questions.  “Why are you doing that?” “Why, Why, Why?” And each time I’d answer the question to something I knew He ultimately already knew the answer to and think the subject was closed He’d ask why again.  He was digging. Digging for something I didn’t see and wasn’t even consciously aware of. Rooted deep down was an answer that took me by surprise.  He was after the true, honest, raw motivations of my heart and for them to be brought to light. And He would not stop digging and asking until I got it.

When we really get down to business and stop, take a deep breath and listen God’s still after the same thing He’s always been after…our hearts. He allows us to do and get involved in so many things, but despite the outward appearances and “good” things we do, He’s still just after our hearts.

We all have a million things we’re involved in on a day to day basis. Why we choose what we choose comes from a myriad of choices, decisions, desires and so much beyond that, but bottom line even all of our good intentions and deeds mean nothing to God if they are not rooted in the right motives. We may fool others, but we cannot fool Him.

Just the other night I was discussing life with a few good friends and amidst our conversation I found myself sharing that I knew myself to be an “Achiever” (strengthfinder.com). It’s a strength, but I know for myself there’s a fine line between using it for God’s glory or using it for myself.  Day in, day out I can often find myself striving to want to “achieve” something and often overlook that it’s simply the need to feel good about me, myself and I that day.  On the surface it can be seen as being ambitious or driven and it can be used for great things, but deeply rooted underneath, the true motive that only God and I know, is if what I’m doing is for Him or simply about me. If all of my achieving is caught up in my need to feel good about me, then that strength is only a self-motivated, self-focused, falsely portrayed idea of “doing good for the kingdom”, Christianese sentiment for serving God, that is really only revealing my own insecurity and misunderstood identity at the truth of simply being God’s daughter.

He’s after the heart. Always has been. Always will be. He’s not after your help or your service. He will use it, but that’s not why He sent His son to die for you, to save and redeem you. He wants one thing and if you are not at rest and fully confident of that one thing, amidst doing nothing for Him, then no matter all of the things you do “for Him”, you’ll never be satisfied. If you’re not satisfied in the overwhelming revelation that you are a son or daughter of the God of the universe and He wants to to share who He is with you because of that relationship, then maybe you need to allow God to ask you some of those same hard questions. Allow Him to do some digging.  Don’t run from them. Run to them. Embrace your own vulnerability and know that He already knows the answers and could never love you more than He already overwhelmingly does. Cause in answering those questions and revealing the truth to your own heart, you can actually finally move forward in embracing His love for you and all that He’s made you to be.