Rachel Jenae


Some days I’m simply overwhelmed by my inadequacy.  I’ll be walking along doing life as normal and the next second caught up in myself.  Caught up in what I feel I’m lacking.  Caught up in an overwhelming desire to run.  To run as far away from that inadequacy as possible… or to hide or pretend that I simply don’t see it. Then the other part of me, the achiever, turns on and goes into action.  It goes into fixing and solving the problem. I create my to-do list of how to fix this thinking and then how to never get to this place again. It’s Eve at her finest, analyzing, controlling, pretending.

But something in my heart stops me. It stops me every time.  It’s this raw, ugly, truth that is seeping through every pore and the more I want to run from it the more I know I have to face it. I have to face the truth.  The truth that stares each of us squarely in the face when we’ve gotten lost in ourselves and our own issues.

We are inadequate.

That icky feeling that is seeping through into my every thought is all of my flesh crying out to fix something it cannot fix. It’s the longing of my spirit to be free of this flesh. Longing to be restored completely to what deep down I know was meant to be.

Somehow I convince myself that running is pointless and I choose not to, but to turn around and face the rawness.  To face what feels like a bleeding heart. Utter inadequacy.

What now? What is His answer? What is His remedy to my inadequate heart and mind? His truth that penetrates all fear, all lies, all longing…

Love.  Get lost in His Love.

Reaching beyond the surface, into the depths of my childlike heart that is lost in itself.  He invites me into the depths of all that He is. All that He has and holds and wants to share with me. He speaks truth that silences all fear.  He wages war on every other lover vying for my hearts affection. He gentles touches the parts of me that are lost and feel wretchedly out of alignment and puts things in order. His patience never ends and I at times seem to need every last drop of it. He knows me better than I know myself and His love wrecks my thought out processes of how things will work out.  His love makes everything else my mind is caught up in pail in comparison. He doesn’t use my inadequacies against me, but rather exchanges them for His fullness.  He invites me to be strong where I am weak and beautiful where I feel ugly. He invites me into His Love.

It’s Love. All Love. In Love. Through Love. About Love. To Love. It changes everything.

It looks nothing like this world, but is completely opposite and contradicting to our human way of reasoning.  He is Love. He sent Love. He came to serve. He came to show us true Love and that it is completely and fully, 100% of the time enough. He is enough! That when we, the inadequate, poor, wretched and blind strangers come to Him and lean on Him, we are made full, overflowing, rich, beautiful, full of vision sons and daughters.  And He does what only He can do. He does what I cannot do. He gives me more of Himself. Shows me more of His heart. More of His passionate heart for me. And it doesn’t make sense. It’s not something I understand yet. Not even a little.  It’s just the way it is and it changes everything.

Get lost in His Love today.