Rachel Jenae

Yesterday I had a thought that I knew needed my attention.  Every year in January I write a blog post about my previous year. It’s a hard work because it’s intentionally revisiting disappointment, sometimes pain and frustration, but it’s also revisiting joy and answered prayers. And what is true for the one is also true for the other –  good and bad tend to grow bigger given time and perspective. But we often avoid reflecting because we fear the pain that will erupt, but I have found, after taking a good dose of courage, that joy has always grown larger than disappointment.

So each year I reflect on the past year to prepare my heart to grieve all that did not happen and celebrate again all that did. It’s something I’ve found absolutely necessary. Intentionally grieving with the purpose of feeling the pain and disappointment and then letting it go to empty my heart and make room for new hope in a new year.

If I never allow myself to really feel the depths of those things I may never actually release them fully – leaving my heart cluttered with past debris. 
It really doesn’t matter the size of the thing, it just matters that I take a moment to intentionally look it in the face, give it permission to be fully felt and validated, thank those feelings for showing me that I indeed am alive. I feel pain, disappointment, joy, excitement, etc., only because I’m alive. And once I have thanked them I fully release them.

I don’t have to sit on those things unless they need sitting on, but the art of making room for the new is often met by a screaming room of emotion children that need to be heard and validated simply because they exist. And they exist in me because it’s the divine way God wired me. They too want set free from that room and they are much less demanding that you would think – so feel them, validate them, thank them and declare their release.

There are new emotions and feelings that need room to grow and be discovered, but they will never been felt if there is not room. It’s time to make room.